Should I get an epidural?

let me start with my reasons for wanting to go without medication.... My first delivery I made it 17.5 hours with no meds and when I finally got the epidural it only numbed one side and my daughter was out within 20 minutes. In the 20 minutes I had it, her heart rate and my blood pressure dropped significantly and they were threatening me with a c-section. Luckily I dilated from a 2-10 in 15 minutes (Thank God) and she popped right out. My second delivery I held out and I got the epidural about an hour before he was born but the numbing medicine to insert it did not work and it was terribly painful and the catheter fell out twice so they kept re-doing it. I had back pain for 3 months afterwords and a spinal headache. I am 14 weeks pregnant and I really want to have a natural delivery because of all the problems I have had in the past and I know I can make it through contractions because I held off so long to get it before but I am really nervous about the pushing stage without an epidural. Also, I will be alone when i deliver because we don't have anyone to watch our kids and my husband will have to be with them. Has anyone done it medication free without any support? What do you think is worse, contractions or crowning?