Very dramatic serious relationship prob, what's your advice?

To make a very long story short... my hubby and I have been together since high school. We married very young. After several years of marriage he said he doesn't want kids. I was crushed... my major in college was child edu and my dream was to be a mom. We finally agreed to try for baby but he was extremely self centered and didn't really like the idea. After several vey early miscarriages my hubby found out it was due to his sperm, he had a condition that caused early miscarriage. I'd gone through several IVF fertility treatments for pregnancy due to his infertility condition. I became very ran down after so many tries and early miscarriages. After several losses, the Dr said to give up on hubby's sperm, as hubby had no hope of a healthy pregnancy. (The Dr said my only hope to have a biological child or experience pregnancy was to do donor sperm. (We looked into adoption and found a 5 year wait, it cost thousands beyond what we could afford and sadly... what adoptions were affordable were developmentally challenged or older children). So we did donor sperm, hubby refused to help pick donor... I did it alone and I became pregnant 1s try. But what the DR or I didn't know until it was too late... I was not fully recovered from what I went through from my hubby's tries and losses and this baby had no chance, a boy was lost at 5 months along due to my body being used so much and ran down for my hubby. He was rather uncaring and unemotional in all this and really had no more desire for a baby then he did before, it was all me and felt so alone. He has NO emotion, everyone calls him the guy from star trek... Data and he's exactly like that no joke. So he wanted to keep all this secret. I grew up in foster homes so I had no family to share with and only knew his family who he keept all this a secret from. So taking a year to recover, I'm super healthy before all this ...so I wanted to get back to that... we try donor again and I become pregnant 1st try. I did all the baby planning, gear etc alone. I dragged him to lamaze lessons, he was zero involved unless i dragged him. His only involvement was to tell me pregnant women can have sex and after all I've been through my Dr said no way and I told him to forget it. So he talks me into it when I'm 4 months along and I got a bladder infection and had to get a catheter put in until antibiotics kicked in. Then, he comes home and feels sick and I said don't kiss me and sure enough I get the FLU. Months later baby is due finally, labor comes and he leaves me alone for 8 hours while he cleans the garage telling me "it's too early to go to the hosp". I make him take me after 8 hours and the DR says I arrived at 9cm, hubby helps zero with breathing, labor or delivery. Baby gets here and hubby loves baby so much and wants to play with him and be dad... BUT he can't seem to help at night as he's too tired and will only help me if he's well slept, fed and it's convenient. I'm fortunate to stay home, hubby works and is an amazing provider but only helps with chores at home when it's convenient too. His family has no idea we did doner. They're a bunch of loser drug addicts or enablers and I don't want them around or holding my son. And they all think my son is their blood and that my hubby is this homebody wonderful family man. Oh, and after years of marriage he says he never believed in the bible and I'm Christian so this is conflicting and hard for how alone I am in the way I hope to raise my son in morals and values. My hubby doesn't do anything immoral, drink or smoke or use bad language. He's just emotionally dead and could care less about people. He only cares about himself. Is it wrong that I don't want to share my son with him? Do I let my son call him Dad? I don't want my son treated like I am, cared about only when my hubby approves or it's convenient. Any advice is appreciated.